Sep 22, 2005

All Hale Prince Charming, Lord of the Remote

Explain to me again the connection between and man and his remote. I swear, Prince Charming is convinced that he is indeed Prince Charming, Lord of the Royal Remote Control.

As he enters the room he holds his hand out to you without speaking. You should already know that since he has entered the room, you no longer have remote control privileges. If you look at him confused over this hand that has suddenly started waving in your face, he will deign to verbalize his demand, "Hand over the remote". Now here you have two choices, you can keep the remote and Prince Charming will either return to the farthest corners of the house, leaving you alone in your television viewing or he will more emphatically demand the remote. Mostly I, the one who really doesn't understand the magic that is remote control handling, just hand over the remote. Why not give him his joy?

But that is just the beginning of our television debacle. Because now the programs are all the Prince's discretion (unless again you want to send him running to his far corner). He watches the guide fanatically trying to decide which program he would like to watch. But having found nothing he would like to watch in this time slot, he leaves the guide on muted for the entire half hour. Never mind that in that time slot I have seen several shows that I wouldn't mind watching, the Prince Charming, Lord of the Royal Remote, has control and we await he his royal choice. As the half hour of watching the channels rotate again and again over the television screen comes to a close, he again looks to see what he can find to watch. If there is nothing to watch, lord help you because you will be stuck watching the muted guide again! And if he leaves the room for any reason, Prince Charming, Lord of the Royal Remote leaves the remote in the farthest corner of the room to discourage anyone touching his royal remote. And he leaves the television on . . . You guessed it, on the muted guide!

Well, you gotta love him. I have to go now, I can see the Royal Remote has been left unmanned and I am about to stage a revolusion

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